Last Goodbye

on artistic longing and vampire fae

The writing is a relatively short part of a books life—akin to early childhood, or the scrolling text in Star Wars. Most books that go on to be published spend the majority of their long existences as printer-ready files on a production manager’s hard drive or as specimens lodged deep in the Library of Congress—unique and unchanging. Finished. Fixed.

I am on the precipice of this with INTO THE BLUE, four weeks away from copy-editing. This will mark the beginning of the book’s journey into the publication process, and the end of its journey with me.

It’s a strange moment. Bittersweet. The characters and I are in our last private conversation. I know the end is coming, but I don’t believe it yet. I don’t know what to compare this to. Sometimes, it’s Sam Mussabini giving Harold Abrahams his charm before the big race. Other times, it’s lying in bed with someone I know is leaving. Really, it’s the dawning unreality that sending E.T. home will mean saying goodbye—triumphant and sad, whole and empty.

In all these cases, there’s a feeling of being dwarfed by my creation. I have poured myself into this book. I saved nothing for the swim home. There has not been one thing I was unwilling to try, to cut, to mend, to sacrifice for the good of this project. And it’s very one sided. I desperately love this strange little document that has no idea I exist and cannot love me back. That won’t remember me when it becomes a book, then a file, then a fossil in the Library of Congress.

But I will remember it. Not because I wrote it, but because it made me tell more truth than I ever have before, and it’s impossible to do that and end up the same person you were when you started.

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Updates

Weather: Glorious. All the windows are open right now. Please don’t rob me.

Currently Reading: While revising, I’ve returned to Throne of Glass, living in dread of the day I finish Empire of Storms and am relegated to 1,000 pages of Chaol. *shiver*

Currently Watching: Still Midsomer Murders. Winter is the Sargent now, so we’re nearing the end, one quirky small-town death at a time.

Editing: Romantasy Sex Checks goes on sale on Tuesday. It’s been a while since I’ve written a gift product I love this much. Click below to learn more :)

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Books I Read Last Month

I tore through QUICKSILVER, which. Wow. I loved this book. The magic system felt so organic and intuitive, and Saeris is honest and strong and fun to embody. And the MOUTH on Kingfisher!! Their first kiss was so good, I actually put down the book to pre-order Brimstone. If you’re pro heightened fae senses, you will love this. If you enjoy couples who “drink” from each other, this one’s for you. My “drinking” interest plateaus at loss-of-control-neck-bite, and I liked this, if that helps you. There were twists and turns I did not see coming, but also some tropes that were just…exactly what I wanted. The end is numinous and meta in ways that nurished my Piscean soul. Two words: vampire fae. Highly recommend.

Speaking of drinking from each other, I also read A KINGDOM OF VENOM AND VOWS, which I ordered because I’d seen it on a bunch of roundups and heard it was super hot. I did not realize it was book 3 in the series until I started, and then I just kept going, which…I’m sure was not what the author intended. The builds are such an important part of these stories, and I definitely shortchanged myself by cutting straight to the payoff. So yeah, drinking from each other and mating sex without getting to know the characters is not the same as drinking and mating sex after hundreds of pages of tension. WHO KNEW. I didn’t mean to read two vampire-y books in a row, but sometimes that’s how the blood splatters. The world building in this one was lighter than in Quicksilver if that sways you one way or the other (although not as light as it seemed coming on on book 3…).

What are YOU reading? Tell me about it, stud.

Until next time…

xx

Emma