microdosing on cringe
getting experimental in 2026
2025 ended with a flurry of activity. At work, over half of my titles for Spring 2027 went into production, including a very exciting crash for Fall 2026 I cannot wait to share with you all. And we kicked off promo for Into the Blue with a cover reveal.
This marks the end of the part of the author cycle I’m most comfortable with (locking myself alone in a room) and the beginning of the part I’m the least comfortable with (drawing as much attention the book as humanly possible).
Getting to publish a book, with an incredible team no less, is an honor I do not take for granted, and there are many exciting moments in the process. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t also find it nerve-wracking. In order to catch the eye of your intended audience, you must first make eye contact with every person you have ever met (while they provide you with unsolicited takes on your sex scenes). You must to go to work and face your colleagues, whether the internet throws carnations at your novel or red paint. You must to learn to smile at signings when people ask if you wrote the book, then put it back when you confirm that you did. And through all this, you must continue to sound, sound, sound the trumpets, because this is your baby and you want it to have a good life.
2026, then, will be about guarding energy. As we round the bend into this last six-months before publication, I aim to pace myself, to stay as clean and soft as I can.
By staying clean, I mean resisting the siren call of sites like Goodreads. Riding the ratings rollercoaster is addictive, the high from reading positive reviews just as toxic as the low of reading bad ones. Both are equally destructive for someone who wants to be writing again, which is me. I’m not a saint about this. I literally Venmo myself a dollar every time I want to check. If I do break, I have to donate the money to the Center for Fiction. I won’t tell you what my current total is, but it’s a good trick.
Staying soft means making friends with the cringe that goes hand-in-hand with self-promotion—building up a tolerance for vulnerability, for withstanding judgment, for looking stupid in front of people whose opinions I value. This year, I mean to bathe myself in cringe; to float in discomfort until I can swim in it. I want cringe to be my ally, the iocane powder I have microdosed so that when faced with a lethal chalice-full I can throw it back with a piratey smirk.
I am approaching this via exposure therapy. My recent forays into cringe might be vanilla by an influencer’s standards— publicly sharing excerpts of my naughty Nancy Drew fan fic, directly asking people to preorder my book during a B&N promo, taping a video of myself that now lives on my grid, where I can project any number of unkind people thinking any number of unkind thoughts about it—though an influencer I am not.
Yet, these microdoses of cringe are proving good medicine for a writer. Every time I post about my new book, or slide into the DMs an author I love, or share a video of myself, I am flexing the same muscles I will need to stay sane when the book is widely available. And the deeper I sink into this practice of cringe, the faster I find I can get back to my day, my life, my writing.
Because that’s the real goal, isn’t it? To just keep writing.
Updates
Currently Reading: Two Can Play by Ali Hazelwood
Currently Watching: Ancient Empires
Weather: Toddler-tantrum frosty. It snows, we shovel, it snows again.
Books I Read Last Month
(light spoilers ahead)
American Fantasy by Emma Straub: Annie is a woman between; recently divorced, she has just been demoted to report to her own intern when she embarks on a four day fan cruise devoted to Boy Talk, the New Kids On the Block-esque boyband she worshipped in her youth. All the hi-jinx ensue—and yes, Annie 100% meets the band. But this story is about so much more than that. With her trademark humor and wisdom, Emma Straub explores the deep bonds we feel to the pop culture that forged us—even as the world continues to change—and how pleasure doesn’t have an expiration date. It’s also just fun. I loved this book not only for Annie and Keith (Keith!), but for all the clever side-characters aboard the American Fantasy cruise ship (Sarah! Maira! (weirdly) Jonathan!). This one pubs April 07, but you can pre-order here!
Daddy Issues by Kate Goldbeck: This was so delightful—a reimagining of Failure to Launch as a single dad romance set in the aftermath of Covid. Yes, FMC Sam is hung up on her father’s abandonment—which is made manifest by the literal boxes of her dad’s comic book issues that crowd her bedroom. Kate Goldbeck is such a witty writer that I defy anyone to not be sucked into this story on her voice alone. She also tackles meaty subject matter with deftness, dramatizing the way our parents shape our attachment styles with poignance and humor; it was incredibly satisfying to watch Sam take responsibility for herself over the course of the novel. MMC Nick is an absolute cinnamon roll (with great hands!), but I also appreciated how honestly Hal was rendered/ all the truth in this book about situationships. Order here!
Bound by Ali Hazelwood: I have to admit that I don’t like reading romance via audiobook. I have tried, but I cannot shake the feeling that I’m…not alone. But I am a die-hard Ali Hazelwood fan, and this Spotify original is not available in any other format, so to Spotify I went. And I loved this—even if listening to it made me feel like I was in a thruple with the dual narrators. If you love Discovery of Witches, Season 1, you will love this story (the MMC’s name is Viktor Ashworth if that gives you any sense). FMC Vero is a lot of fun—an anti-social forger with a golden heart. Think Rebecca Romney meets Lucky Armstrong. Come for the deflowering of a hot, very restrained, thousand-year-old vampire, stay for the conversations around what makes original art. Listen here!
If you REALLY want to stop yourself from doing something, you Venmo the same dollar, but instead of sending it to a cause you support, you have to send it to one you detest. I won't name causes here, but I'm sure you can think of places that would hurt to send it more than to one that's pro-writing!
I know how you feel! I think I've become pretty good at "acting" like a public person when really what I'd prefer is to be in a quiet space and write and draw, or cook. But let's not tell anyone ;-)